i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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