i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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