Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
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