We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
