My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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