just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
