Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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