I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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