hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
