she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
meet me or not, i'm out of control
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
