Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
