he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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