here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
my being single is dangerous.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
