apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
