After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
