no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Randomize
