Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
