okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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