Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
