I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
