how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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