If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Is it because I queefed?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
