I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Randomize
