So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
