Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
