This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
