The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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