I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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