My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
