fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize
