Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I want to be your penis for a week.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
