Jerry, you need to find god
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Randomize
