I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Randomize
