Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
