i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Barsexuality is the new black.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize