dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
