dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
