i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
