We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
