So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize
