Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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