I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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