he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
