You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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