he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
