is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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