roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize