Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Randomize
