If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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