I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Randomize
