two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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