what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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