I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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