we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize