but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Randomize
