I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
