You smell like a Billy Joel song
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
