it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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