I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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