the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
So much rum. So many feels.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
