It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
zippers are such a cool invention
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
