I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
