Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
