I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I wish i was in the wii world.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize