Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
we're making bets on your personal life
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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