at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
