I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize