unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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