So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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