They should really pass out barf bags in church
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
