sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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