i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Randomize
