It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i just had sex bonerless
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
