there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
