the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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