Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
