I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
