VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
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