Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
