STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
