Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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