I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Randomize