awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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