so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
